Epitome of Random – Vol 5

-I’m going to dress-up as a mummy for Halloween. I figure I’m a daddy the other 364 days of the year, so, why not?

-By some definitions a gay boner is just a happy mistake; like inviting Richard Simmons to a board meeting.

-I saw a car with two bumper stickers: “I love my German Shepherd” and “I love my Corgi.” I saw the German Shepherd in the car with a collar which read “I love my chew toy.” I didn’t see the Corgi.

-My co-worker Keith asked why I have all the Athenas in my department. As a father of four girls I won’t oogle the pretty  young women in my department, that’s why.

-Last week I forgot to enter next week’s schedule on the computer; so this week I had to pull double duty entering next week’s schedule, which was due last week and the following week’s schedule which is due this week. I also had to file last week’s schedule. That’s how I explain things at work, too. No wonder my staff is so confused.

-My obsessed 15-year-old added Ross Lynch to her prayer intentions this evening. Actually, he was her only prayer intention this evening. Need I apply for a restraining order on behalf of Mr. Lynch? Or should I just let her join his fan club, like I’m a registered member of Emma Watson’s fan club? Well, I’ve received correspondence from her attorneys and I’m registered. Let’s just leave it at that.

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