Career Option Number One

I don’t plan on staying in my current job until retiring, even though that’s certainly a possibility. I’d love to find something else; and I’ve had something else but not where I wanted to do it. Fortunately I moved to where I am now because that job has been gone a few years for my replacement and all other colleagues. So, sometimes I wonder if I should venture into the professional world alone and start my own business. Perhaps writing bumper stickers would be the job for me. Here are some examples…

– Organic Diet? Eat My Dust

– My other ride’s your mom!

– Baby on board…from conception on up!

– Prostitutes screw you and take your money once, politicians do it constantly.

– Now accepting tips, except from mohels!

– I thought Free Willy was a movie about a nudist colony!

– No one for President!

– Wag More, Bark Less, But Meow and Scratch Even More!

– Leaving your kids in the car is a tragedy, bringing them back home is a horror story.

– “Honey, did you untie the dog from the bumper?”

– I brake for whiplash lawsuits!

– Are you my proctologist? Then get off my butt!

– I hit a dog…had to swerve eight feet, but I got him. (Actually, I used that line on my mom after my dad had taken me on my first driving lesson. It got a chuckle and I think a bit of a tear. Not sure if she felt bad about the imaginary dog or the fact she raised a total whack-job for a son.)

– Cheapest gas in town? 69 cent taco night at Taco Bell.

– I brake for anyone not named Kardashian

– (With a pink ribbon attached) Save the boobs, re-elect them

– I’ve only ever lived in one state – the state of confusion

And, of course, my own, personal favorite idea that I’d love to see on a bumper sticker…

– Have you had your random today?


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