I AM Cool

So what if I played Dungeons & Dragons, Marvel Super Heroes, Rolemaster and other role-playing games as a kid. That doesn’t mean I’m uncool.

So what if I joined the stage and lighting crew because I wasn’t popular enough to sing, dance and wear make-up on stage to join drama club. That doesn’t mean I’m uncool.

So what if I preferred Popular Mechanics to Playboy as a teen. That doesn’t make me uncool.

So what if I wrote a letter to the US Postmaster General demanding the relocation of my mailman to the farthest reaches of Alaska because he folded my copy of The Punisher comic books to fit them in the mailbox thereby all but eliminating any chance of it gaining in value over time. That doesn’t make me uncool.

So what if I could present both sides equally in the debate over the merits of the D20 system vs the percentile dice system. So what if I know what that means. That doesn’t make me uncool.

So what if I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation and ranked each episode by season, each guest performance by season, and best director by season, then all categories for the length of the series. That doesn’t make me uncool. (In case you’re wondering; Best Episode Tapestry season 6; Best Guest Performance by Paul Winfield in Darmok season 5; Best Direction Jonathan Frakes The Chase also season 6. And, no, sharing these facts doesn’t make me uncool.)

So what if I played Magic: The Gathering and spent all my money on booster packs, or the Pokemon Collectible Card Game, and got chills when I watched that video of that guy opening the booster pack for the first time in twenty years and finding a Black Lotus. That doesn’t make me uncool.

So what if I prefer The Economist to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. That doesn’t make me uncool.

So what if I spend my time pretending the Star Wars prequel doesn’t exist because it has tarnished the most awesome Hollywood Science Fiction trilogy of all time. That doesn’t make me uncool.

So what if I am insanely jealous of all people who can afford authentic Starfleet uniforms and courses on how to speak Klingon. That doesn’t make me uncool.

So what if I think Conan O’Brien is cool. That doesn’t make me uncool.

I am cool. I know I’m cool. MY MOM SAYS SO!

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