I work in a grocery store. And I’ve discovered there are a lot of euphemisms in a grocery store…
Produce Department: Biggest Melons in town!
Bakery: Go ahead, squeeze our buns.
Seafood: Yeah, we got crabs.
Dairy: Check out these jugs.
Front End: May we carry your sack for you?
Deli: We’ll pull your pork.
Bulk foods: Allow us to weigh your nuts.
Meat: Bone in?
And euphemisms don’t stop in grocery stores, there are plenty of international euphemisms as well…
Ireland: Have you kissed the blarney stones?
England: Care to see Big Ben?
Italy: Come to straighten the leaning tower?
France: Oui, oui? Oui!
Japan: How do you like the rising sun so far?
Australia: Ever been down under before?
And, now that election day is over, let’s look at some political euphemisms…
Don’t leave me in a blue state!
How about a pocket veto?
Let’s go poll the electorate.
And, no, I don’t stay up at night thinking of this stuff. Then again, it would probably look better if I did.