If You Know What I Mean

I work in a grocery store. And I’ve discovered there are a lot of euphemisms in a grocery store…

Produce Department: Biggest Melons in town!

Bakery: Go ahead, squeeze our buns.

Seafood: Yeah, we got crabs.

Dairy: Check out these jugs.

Front End: May we carry your sack for you?

Deli: We’ll pull your pork.

Bulk foods: Allow us to weigh your nuts.

Meat: Bone in?

And euphemisms don’t stop in grocery stores, there are plenty of international euphemisms as well…

Ireland: Have you kissed the blarney stones?

England: Care to see Big Ben?

Italy: Come to straighten the leaning tower?

France: Oui, oui? Oui!

Japan: How do you like the rising sun so far?

Australia: Ever been down under before?

And, now that election day is over, let’s look at some political euphemisms…

Don’t leave me in a blue state!

How about a pocket veto?

Let’s go poll the electorate.

And, no, I don’t stay up at night thinking of this stuff. Then again, it would probably look better if I did.


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