Resolved

The end of 2014 is just around the corner. It’s time for those who make New Year’s Resolutions to make them. I, for one, am not in that category. Sure, I’ve answered the question of “What’s your New Year’s Resolution?” with any number of answers. But the reality is, I don’t really make resolutions. I can count those I’ve made on one finger – the very finger I’d like to flash to those people who won’t stop asking me what my New Year’s Resolutions are! The way I see it, my failure-to-success ratio is so heavily skewed in the negative that I really shouldn’t be throwing gasoline on the conflagration. But, after 41 years of not doing my best to maintain optimum health, perhaps 2015 should include at least one resolution, if not more.

I guess I should resolve to eat a more balanced diet and exercise regularly. A few physicals ago my cholesterol was a little elevated. I changed my diet and, as luck would have it, participated in some pretty intense basketball scrimmages with very athletic teenagers in the months between that check-up and the follow-up. As a result, I shed over fifty points from my cholesterol! However, those were just temporary and my numbers have crept back up to the bubble. So, I need to reinstate the controlled diet and increased physical activity.

Beyond cholesterol a more balanced diet would also impart improved bowel health. At 41years of age, bowel health is very important. I’m already an average guy, I just want to be a regular guy, too. A good, firm BM is ideal for a 41-year-old man. Soft enough to not cause any undo strain and firm enough to enact a one-wipe policy. (Hey, I’m concerned about the environment and don’t want to use too much toilet paper. With five ladies in the house, we go through enough.) That is most certainly a goal worthy of attainment! (TMI??)

As for exercise, well that’s especially important for combating cholesterol. I believe it was my mother who told me that she heard from a doctor that exercise is the best way to lower your cholesterol. Therefore, I will consume more dark chocolate, celery, carrots, ginger, cinnamon, garlic, almonds, avocado, honey, asparagus, pomegranates and other such foods. “But, the Jason,” you may ask, “how will that help with exercise?” You see, those foods are all natural aphrodisiacs. What better exercise than the pelvic trampoline (a.k.a. mattress & box springs)? Besides, why is my heart rate the only thing I need to get up?

Yes, here’s to 2015. Things are looking up.

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