Epitome of Random – Vol 12

-My wife often says, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I say, “Other body parts, too.”

-I heard a report that 1 in 5 women find dog owners more attractive. The other 4 think my brother is still butt-ugly!

-I’d like to buy a boat and name it D.D. That way it’d be known as the S.S. D.D.

-Ghandi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” I think Dave Ramsey should say, “You must make the change you wish to see in your pocket.”

-A Roanoke, VA area doctor was recently convicted of prescription violations and possessing child porn. His name was Steven Collins. Hmm, what is it with guys named Steven Collins and inappropriate materials/behavior with minors?

-My friend Keith lost water to his house due to a water main break in our neighborhood. His wife went into labor that same night. Guess he had to deal with water breaking twice.

-Keith and his wife had a baby boy. His boss showed me a picture. Wow, he’s a BIG boy. Wait…that was just the umbilical cord.

-What makes a jerk chicken? Fowl language?

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