Channeling My Inner Weird Al – Part Two

Tom Brady’s Retirement Ballad
(Sung to the tune Runaround Sue by Dion and the Beltones)

The Dolphins just signed that D-line beast
He’ll join me in the AFC East
Now Aaron Rodgers is so happy
That guy can’t try to break his knee.

Hut-hut, hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-hut, hut, hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-hut, hut, hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-HIKE; AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Free agency has stoked my fears
I gotta play against the House of Spears
My wife said and now I’m telling you
Run away from Ndamukong Suh!

I just won my forth Super Bowl
But it’s a fact that I’m getting old
I’d retire if I had a clue
To keep away from Ndamukong Suh

Hut-hut….

Thinking about it makes me sick
So I’m begging coach Bellichick
Please shore up our O-line
So that man can’t break my spine.
Maybe I should hang up my cleats
Before he makes me dead meat
He likes to tear quarterbacks in two
Run away from Ndamukong Suh!

Hut-hut…

He can play tackle or end
Your career he can end
Keep away from Suh!

Hut-hut….

Gisele is worth more than twice as me
That should make it plain to see
I really don’t need to play this game
Before one hit makes my body lame.
When Ndamukong is lined up
He makes quarterbacks piss their cup
My wife told me now I’m telling you
I’ll run away from Ndamukong Suh!

Hut-hut…

Just stay on the sideline
And you’ll be just fine
Stay away from Suh!

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