Epitome of Random – Vol 15

– The Jason: Our kids need to learn manners. The Wife: Says the man who just farted at the dinner table.

– Our two youngest received similar gifts from their grandparents on our recent visit. They are a penguin and puppy which have a flashlight sewn in so the little tykes can see in the dark. The lights are located on the chest of the toy. My first thought was, “Oooh! Iron Man penguin!”

– Crocodiles DO eat turtles!

– Why I won’t be winning Father of the Year: My toddler took her sleeper off and paraded around in her onsie and diaper the other night. Instead of getting her dressed again, I whipped out a five dollar bill.

– My wife and a neighbor were having a religious debate outside. I couldn’t decipher the words, but I heard the wife’s voice from twenty feet away and through the front door. Later she gave her usual reply: “I get loud when I get passionate.” Hmmm, then how come you haven’t woken up the kids once in fifteen years?

– Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off would have totally different meaning if she were a guy.

– If you are standing at the Four Corners and smoke a joint, but the hand your holding it in never leaves Colorado, can Arizona, New Mexico or Utah do anything about it?

– So, Hermione took polyjuice potion and changed into Harry Potter. Yet, in the end, she still chose Ron. Doesn’t bolster Harry’s case for masculinity.

– I entered a No-Talent Contest and won!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s