I read an opinion piece not too long ago about how man is on the verge of ultimate knowledge. Personally, I think that’s bunk. Man is not meant to know everything…and every time we do discover something is just opens up more windows to explore. I am confident that we will continue to know, in the grand scheme of the universe and everything, very little.

As someone who will never be confused with humanity’s great thinkers, I know I know very little. There are some things I just don’t understand.

Take poop for example. Why does poop sometimes sink and other times float?

I’ve asked this question before in life. The most common answer is that it depends on what you eat. This affects the composition of the poop. (I believe the old adage is oats float.) At first glance this appears to be a perfectly logical explanation. Butt, (pun intended) I must offer a real-world example.

The other day I had not eaten much, and the following morning had skipped breakfast. Then, when number two called, I was presented with a real-life challenge to the aforementioned explanation. You see, the poop came in three pieces – one floater and two sinkers (but all three were stinkers). Now, their chemical composition were the same based on my diet over the prior 24-hour period. Therefore they should’ve all floated or all sunk. Yet, there was a difference that shouldn’t have been there. You see, I just do not understand and no one has given me a satisfactory explanation.

Hmmm, I guess my college professors were right. I don’t know s–t!


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