Daughters and Sons

My wife and I have four daughters. We are also expecting our fifth child. No, I didn’t entitle this post Daughters and Sons because we have a boy on the way…we won’t know until the little sprout of my loins is born. We’re old-fashioned that way; we never find out the sex of our babies until they’re born.

But people keep saying something to the effect of, “So, are you hoping for a boy this time?” My answer is always no, I’m just praying for a healthy baby. Boy or girl, son or daughter doesn’t matter. I’m thrilled to be a daddy again.

Yet there are differences in sons and daughters. After having our third daughter I pretty much gave up on the prospect of having a son to carry on the family line. She, unlike her sisters, has been taught all those great things a father should teach his son. Like armpit farts! And silly songs about gas, roadkill, you name it.

We had a recent visit from their grandparents (my in-laws) and some of their cousins. We were out eating at Ruby Tuesday when she said excitedly, “Daddy, pull my finger!”

As a responsible father…I did! Together we did our John Daly impression – I gripped it, she ripped it! Yup, that’s my girl. I’m so proud.

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If It Pleases You

My two oldest girls were a little upset with a video criticism of Disney’s Frozen. It’s one of their favorites (and one of mine, for that matter) and they just didn’t understand why the person didn’t like it as well. It was a good exercise in teaching them that not everyone looks at things the same, and, more importantly, it teaches them not to worry about trying to please everyone. There are just too many opinions in the world to please everyone. Trying to please everyone will only cause undue stress.

Take my own family as a microcosm of the world at large…

I can easily please my 15-year-old by letting her watch one of her favorite television shows. Or I can upset her by not letting her watch five or six episodes in a row!

I can please my 11-year-old future chef by cooking with her. Or I can annoy her by not buying ketchup because she doesn’t react well to it.

I can please my 6-year-old by taking her to the pool. And I can upset her by letting her face get wet. (Yeah, in a pool…she’s got issues!)

My 2-year-old is easy to please: “Daddy, can you bring home a cucumber? A green one?” That’s my girl. Granted, she’s only two and can get upset for any number of reasons.

As she is expecting our fifth little bambino I certainly know how to please my wife! And I annoy her with these little inappropriate jokes in this blog.

See, that just a quick example from my own home with the people I love and who love me, too. The world doesn’t love me nearly as much, so why worry about pleasing them. It’s just not worth the stress. So, the next time you’re criticized, remember to take it with a grain of salt, if at all. There’s no pleasing some people…and there’s never pleasing all people.

My Response

So, my wife wrote a blog entry about me. (You may click here if you choose to read the whole thing.) In my very goofy way, I’ve decided to take a few excerpts from it and provide my own, personal commentary. My wife is a sweet, loving woman with a wonderfully good outlook on life. So this is proof that opposites DO attract!

My wife’s entry is in bold, my response in italics:

I thank God that he loves, respects and cherishes my entire being–body, mind and spirit.
Especially the body part…oh, yeah!

I thank God for his unconditional love.
Just put out and I’ll love you forever!

I thank God for the countless times he has forgiven me for all I have done to offend him in any way. Hmmm, guess she never found that “score-keeping” journal of mine.

I thank God for his hard work at his place of employment and for all the help he gives to me at home. Hard work is right, pimpin’ ain’t easy!

I thank God for his love of cooking and serving our family.
Only cause I love to eat.

I thank God for his love of his parents and showing them the respect that they do deserve for giving him life. And when they croak – I’ll raid their belongings before my brothers get to town.

I thank God for his sense of humor and that he can always make me laugh even when I am crying. Yes, you always laugh and cry when I get naked.

I thank God for everything he has taught me since I met him. He has been one of my greatest teachers in life. Wow, you’ve had some CRAPPY teachers, then.

I thank God that he was with me when all of our children were born. I thank God I was with you when all of our children were conceived!

I thank God that he loves all people as children of God. I believe my exact words were “creatures of God.”

I thank God that he supports me in all I do. I will buy you all the bras you need, Sweetie.

I thank God for all the times each day he tells me how much he loves me, but more importantly how much he shows me. With kid number five on the way, you know how much I love to show you!

Without him, I do not know where I would be right now. Well, a GPS could help with that.

Oh, how I wish all married couples had what I have. Umm, I thought you didn’t want us to be swingers?

I love you, Sweetie. I love you, Sweetie!

Epitome of Random – Vol 16

– “I wish we had money. Money can buy things.” (Very profound, sweetie, but don’t poop in your hand.)

– When I get writer’s block, I become discomblogulated!

– I have a B.A. in English. One would think that I’m well-read on the classics of literature. But I learned recently, thanks to my two-year-old, that I hadn’t read The Cat in the Hat. What the heck is wrong with me?

– Be sure not to transfer your own feelings onto the toys you’re playing with with your 2-year-old. Because, “Hi, I’m Prince Philip and I have to go pee,” isn’t high quality bonding time with the little ones.

The Jason: “That’s how it’s been for the past fifteen years; Mommy and Daddy clean it up and you guys mess it up.” 11-year-old: “I don’t make messes!” 2-year-old: “I do!” (She’s been taking the honesty is the best policy thing seriously.)

– It’s great to know our kids care so much about one another. The other night our 6-year-old was spinning around on a spinning chair and tipped it over when she pushed off of the desk to increase her speed. As her mother was making sure she was okay and we were getting her ice the 2-year-old ran over and with great concern asked, “What happened to the spinning chair?”

– We have four daughters. My wife and I have never found out the sex of our baby, preferring to take the old-school route and find out when the kid pops out. She has experienced significant nausea and vomiting throughout all of her pregnancies. So, when she was throwing up the other day, I heard our 6-year-old shout, “We’re having another girl!”

– If I brewed my own beer I’d like to print something on the inside label of the bottle which can only be read when empty. It would say, “If you can read this clearly, you’re an alcoholic!”