Epitome of Random – vol. 18

Two children’s phonics books whose titles should never be placed together: Ann’s Big Muffin and Rag Gets Wet!

My wife told our girls that if they ever notice something on their bodies which wasn’t there before to tell them, or a doctor when they’re on their own. Always keeping things serious, I walked into the room, lifted my shirt, grabbed a chunk of my fat gut and screamed, “What, this wasn’t here twenty years ago!”

When I first took a job with my present employer we were sampling a chocolate bar flavored with bacon. It was quite tasty. I think Hershey should do something like that; they have kisses and hugs, why not add a good pork?

In Star Trek: The Next Generation the Cardassians tortured the intelligent and sophisticated Jean Luc Picard into near madness. Today, the Kardasians torture the intelligent and sophisticated of society into near madness.

I hear people today are mixing marijuana and milk…they call it casein the joint!

March Madness Algebra: MTSU > MSU = WTF! (Yeah, that completely busted my bracket.)

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