Two children’s phonics books whose titles should never be placed together: Ann’s Big Muffin and Rag Gets Wet!
My wife told our girls that if they ever notice something on their bodies which wasn’t there before to tell them, or a doctor when they’re on their own. Always keeping things serious, I walked into the room, lifted my shirt, grabbed a chunk of my fat gut and screamed, “What, this wasn’t here twenty years ago!”
When I first took a job with my present employer we were sampling a chocolate bar flavored with bacon. It was quite tasty. I think Hershey should do something like that; they have kisses and hugs, why not add a good pork?
In Star Trek: The Next Generation the Cardassians tortured the intelligent and sophisticated Jean Luc Picard into near madness. Today, the Kardasians torture the intelligent and sophisticated of society into near madness.
I hear people today are mixing marijuana and milk…they call it casein the joint!
March Madness Algebra: MTSU > MSU = WTF! (Yeah, that completely busted my bracket.)