Siskel and Ebert – The Jason’s Way

Siskel and Ebert had “thumbs up” or “thumbs down.” Some critics use a four-star for five-star system. You can theme your critiquing depending on the subject matter, like the time my editor rated summer movies by the size of your bucket of popcorn, soda and/or other snacks. (I think the jumbo popcorn, extra large soda and pack of Skittles was the winning rating, though I forget the movie.)

My rating system is much more simple: Sucks vs. Doesn’t Suck. Yep, that’s all there is to it, no added layers to further complicate things. Movies, books, television shows, songs, artwork, you name it – either it sucks or doesn’t suck. Sure, if you ask me to rank top five or top ten I’ll ignore the request and give you a Magnificent Seven list (haven’t you been reading), but that simply means that the top seven simply earned the ranking “doesn’t suck.” (Unless I’m ranking the worst of something, which they suck.) That’s right, Blade Runner, the greatest science-fiction film of all time only gets a doesn’t suck and no more!

Take, for example, my old vacuum cleaner. It sucks because it doesn’t suck. So we bought a new one which sucks, and that doesn’t suck. Because some things only don’t suck when they suck, and other thinks truly suck because they don’t suck.

Hopefully you think my blog doesn’t suck. If not, then suck it!


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